BEHIND THE PURPLE VEIL

The recollections of the poet   One might question the utility of writing a book about a BOOK that has been long since lost? “Boy, the more things change the more they stay the same.”  How true, my friend. These are the words of EAndino2, my seemingly lifelong friend. She further states that…  “It seems as though you are not in any position to be giving anyone’s life a push as of late.”  Correct, again, Evie.

“You need to push yourself out of your legal and mental situations.”  She goes on to instruct and scold me : “I’m just surprised that you were not arrested when you went downtown to take pictures the other day (with your luck) lol.

I am sorry to hear that your collection of works was totally deleted. I know that was devastating. I just hope you still have most of the hard copy in which you transferred into the computer. If you have that you can always start again because you’ll have something to work off of.  Was this computer assigned to you? I can’t see why someone would feel they had the liberty to delete something that was not assigned to them.

I hope that wherever it is that you are living these days that you are comfortable there and are able to settle down there for a long time instead of always trying to find a place which you can call home. It’s going to start getting cold soon and hopefully you have a stable home.

Being that you are so unhappy with your life right now I was thinking that perhaps you can find something (constructive) that you like to do. A hobby of some kind which does not cost too much money or no money at all. If so maybe you should focus on doing whatever interests you so this way you don’t have too much time on your hands to focus on being lonely, empty and so sad so often. I wish I could give you suggestions but I don’t know of anything you like besides computers.

I know that for me what I did was focus more on finding a way to make any kind of money and ended up at the supermarket. The pay sucks but it helps a little. Although my financial situation is suffering I’ve also decided that I needed to keep a clear head so I have not gotten high in a long time. It has been almost two years now and trust me it helps me with my depression. I DO get depressed but it doesn’t seem as bad as it did when I was getting high. Now, if only I could stop smoking these damn cigarettes, that would be beautiful.

Anyway Walter, hang in there and keep your head up. The word out there is that God does not give you anything you can’t handle. I am really starting to believe that. Sometimes it’s a challenge to live by those words but I always tell myself that things could be much worst. So I must count my blessings every day whether I feel blessed or not because deep down inside I know I am. And as long as you wake up to live another day you are too. So smile…it’s good for the soul.”

What sparked this train of thought in her was that on Sun, Nov 20, 2011 at 7:46 PM, I wrote:

Hi, Evie. It is always good to hear from you. I have a lot of legal this and that’s’ going on, but I really only do it because otherwise my life is quite empty and meaningless. Did I tell you that someone named Henry, at the Goodwill building deleted my entire collection of works? I stored them in the network because my flash drive (was) lost.

It hurt me to the core of me soul; that was the only copy of all me writings… over 30 years of my life, my memories, my… my… my… gone in a push of a “Del” key. I have not been the same since.

Well, my friend, if things do not change much for you by the start of the New Year, I will have to step in and give your life a little push.

As for that awful job thing, Century 21 is hiring, but you have to apply online.  Did I mention that I am officially retired at the age 52? How does it feel? Lonely, empty, and sad most of the time. I was in the City today taking pictures of the sights and protesters down on Wall Street.

Then I went to the South Street Sea Port and stared out the water… I smiled, as I thought of you, Bernard, Eddie, all of the good people who gave good meaning and feelings to my life.  So, as your friend, don’t be proud and tell me what I can do to help.  I really would like it if we could do lunch or something in a few weeks. Let me know. Peace! And stay in touch.

After receiving her last e-mail, I responded:

Hi, Evie.  Yes, the more things change the more they stay the same. It is not that I am trying to give your life a push. I am just being a friend; which means, your life, your condition, your happiness matters to me.

The legal aspect of my life is actually a plus when you think it through. It seems that I just keep landing on my feet whenever there is what initially seems like a problem.  I’m not surprised that I was not arrested; after all, with my luck, taking pictures helped me blend into the mix. As for my mental situations, I will just keep quiet on that.  Sometimes, it hurts to be alive… but (not) all of the time.

My collection of works was totally deleted. It was and still is devastating. I have no hard copies that I know of. That is what hurts the most. It felt like the death of child or someone who made your life complete. Henry[1], the man who did it, did so out of (vindictiveness)[2]. The director gave me access to the organization’s network so that I could write programs for each unit. That was his job, but I did it faster and the other unit-heads would ask me, not him, to update their boards. He claimed it was mistake.  I cannot start again because I have nothing to work off of. All of the computers were assigned to me. (Only meaning, it did not matter which computer I used.)

I am not unhappy with my life all of the time. I have something (constructive) that I like to do. I don’t think (of) it is a hobby of sorts ; but, it does not cost too much money.  Yes, you are so correct. I should focus on doing things that interest me.  That would be anything dealing with computers and playing chess… oh, oh, and my PlayStation2.

Thanks, Evie, and you hang in there and keep your head up, also.

Peace… Always your friend, WalterT.

And now, straight to the task at hand…

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[1] The names “ Zore” and Henry are synonymous with all that is evil and vile.

[2]  Originally “spite”